it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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