dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He better not be in your backpack
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
