i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
