so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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