How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
