Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My penis needs a shock collar
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
