You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
