Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
