dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
