Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Someone came in the potted fern
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
