it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
