everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
