Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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