i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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