So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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