u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
