once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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