At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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