I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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