I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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