Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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