My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
