if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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