just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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