I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize