is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
