He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
