i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
