maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize