I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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