Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
