Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
