Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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