WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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