Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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