Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
