I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.