He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
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She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just forgot I was standing up.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.