lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
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Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
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they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.