She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize