Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22