I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
