You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
What a dumb baby whore.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize