so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
