If i come over, it means nothing
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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