im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
