i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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