she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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