Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
