If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
