its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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