he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
