i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
