Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
