i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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