I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
