I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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