They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
