Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
