Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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