my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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