Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
