Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
