You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
