So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
