my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize