how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
